Apply to Tim Geitner at the U.S. Treasury Department
Wanted: Stress testers for financial firms bearing greatest responsibility for Great Recession in the United States. The ability of financial institutions to withstand such outside pressure without sustaining damage will prove beyond doubt the stability of their foundations.
Specific skills sought: Championship level professional and amateur ping pong players with ability to precisely hit financial institutions at selected targets with minimum force. A committee of building architects and engineers will identify the load bearing (thus strongest) elements of financial institutions as targets for single hit stress test. Accuracy is essential as a single hit is sufficient without risking any damage in the process of stress testing.
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Apply to Republican and Democratic law makers of the U.S.A. Congress
Wanted: Stress testers for the United States Postal Service (USPS) to ensure that the pension demands of all present and future USPS employees will not be a financial liability on federal tax dollars.
Specific skills sought: Anyone with experience at point and shoot video games who can be legally employed in their state of residence. Seek ability to target any USPS facility with a hand-held or vehicle mounted ground-to-ground missile with minimal damage to adjacent structures. While any damage to any USPS is proof of failure, there will be sufficient missiles to destroy all structures in question.
[links to image sources: here and here]
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